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:iconroninsensai: More from RoninSensai




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October 12, 2011
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Keep Living, Jack

To my dearest Jack.

I know you told me not to write, but you said those words in anger. I wanted to send one sooner, but things became complicated. I miss your smile, your eyes, the touch of your lips, having your arms around me. But most of all, I miss the sound of your voice. I wish I could hear it once more; it would be like serenity for my ears. I miss how we would just lay with each other in silence, knowing that neither of us had to speak to express our emotions. I loved how you knew what to say and do to make me smile, you always knew.
Remember when you left that trail of roses going from the front door to the bathtub? You were waiting for me in there, acting as if you were asleep, and when I came to look, you pulled me in. I laughed until tears came, and I kissed you until you knew how much it meant to me. That will always be my favorite moment of us.

I regret that our relationship took the road to ruin. Though it's only been a few years, it seems like it was ages ago. It's like time stopped caring after we fell apart, it slowed to crawl of woe. I sometimes wonder if things would have been different if…we had a baby. We tried but, it was a thought that became a dream.

But, the point of this letter is this:
I want you to know that…I will not see my thirty first birthday. I have had a tumor on my brain stem since I was a child. It was suddenly triggered when I fell a few weeks ago. The back of my head hit my front steps, and that caused it to bleed. If they remove it, I have a high chance of having virtually my entire body be paralyzed. It could also….end my life. If it stays in, I will slowly fade away with growing pain each day. It may be selfish, but I want to go in peace before it reaches that point. I know that once you read this, you will try and be by my side. I fear it will be too late.

I love you, more than I ever had the chance to express. You are the most thoughtful, caring man I ever had the pleasure of knowing. You were my sun on my darkest days; you were the hand that lifted me to my feet when I gave up. I only wish I could have touched your face once more….

I want you to continue with your life and don't let my passing eat away at your soul. I know it will be hard, but I will always be somewhere near, somewhere that will never die: In memories. I want you to make me a promise:

Keep on living, Jack.
This is was inspired by several things going on in my life at the time, most notably my step-father's surgery to remove a brain tumor.

I've never written anything in letter format before and it was different to write from a woman's perspective.
:iconbubblegumcharmander:
BubblegumCharmander Nov 9, 2011  Student Photographer
Beautifully written :')
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:iconroninsensai:
RoninSensai Nov 10, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much :)
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